Coffee Shop Community

At the Panera that I frequent, there are two main groups of people—those who are eating alone with their laptops (of which I am often one) and those who come to connect with friends. So what’s the difference between these “coffee shoppers” that hang out at for hours on end: the quiet laptoppers and those that shove several tables together? In a word, community. Those eating together are sharing relationships—they are in community— while those by themselves are in close physical proximity, but not a community. They are not communicating; they are eating together yet eating alone. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a certain amount of communication between the “alone in community” folks. We chuckle at emails, and talk on cell phones. We even alternate using the electrical outlets. But our “community” is a sorry replica of the stories and meals shared at tables 10 feet away.
Proximity cannot compare with intimacy. We can fill a crowded restaurant, church or bar, and still be very much alone. Alone without God and alone without the love of others. The strange thing about loneliness is that it happens in the most crowded of places.